Sometimes I sing in the shower. Usually show tunes. But unfortunately morose songs like “Don’t Cry for Me Argentina” or “Aldonza” from Man of LaManchia (talk about a downer). I shower in the morning so I often think about my dreams from the night before. Last night I dreamt I had to leave my spouse because sheContinue reading “Getting to Know All About You”
Category Archives: Uncategorized
What Would Elvis Do?
The King. He would have been 77 today. I wonder what he’d look like. Would he still have hair? Would he be on medication? Would he be touring with The Rolling Stones? Staring in a Broadway revival of Bye Bye Birdie? Owner of a chain of fast food restaurants? Sleeping with Lady GaGa? Forever andContinue reading “What Would Elvis Do?”
New Year’s Revolutions
Every year I go there. I make a list-sometimes in my head, sometimes scratched in a journal. I make resolutions, resolve to change. Every year they are pretty much the same. Eat better, exercise more, write a book, improve my posture, learn another language, get a better handle on finances, stop hating myself. This yearContinue reading “New Year’s Revolutions”
Time it Was
An orange in the toe of our stockings. Peering around the big green vinyl chair that was used to block the entrance to the living room so we couldn’t get to the tree before my parents and open all the presents. Ribbon candy. My name scrawled with black marker across faded thin wrapping paper in my mother’sContinue reading “Time it Was”
Just Like the Ones We Used to Know
I think the magic is gone. I don’t know how to find joy in this holiday season anymore. I’m trying to put up a good front on the outside, but I’m a regular Bah Humbug on the inside. And aren’t we kind of set up for this from the get-go? We believe in this guyContinue reading “Just Like the Ones We Used to Know”
Gift Rap
When I was a senior in high school I had a crappy paying job during the holidays as a temp worker at Dey Brothers Department Store (extra points if anyone out there has even the faintest memory of this now defunct chain). First they put me “on the floor” in the sweater department where at all times you neededContinue reading “Gift Rap”
Necessity is a Mother
Yes, necessity is the mother of invention. Like when my trash-loving beagle figured out that she could take her favorite purple flower-shaped pillow (here’s a glam shot from a previous post), and put it on the foot pedal of the garbage can so that the top would remain open for her to scour all day while weContinue reading “Necessity is a Mother”
Run in the Shadows
I’m not good at this. In 5th grade my cousin Rose Ann sent me a chain letter. I mean an actual letter, that came in the mailbox. The letter instructed me to send the same letter to 5, 10, maybe a dozen people, in order to receive good luck or God’s blessing or a tripContinue reading “Run in the Shadows”
Hello Darkness My Old Friend
Oh yeah. I did it. Up at 7:00 AM baking cookies. Watched those Rockettes kick higher than the Empire State Building. Saw Harry Potter singing in a suit and bow tie with John Larroquette (Didn’t I see that last year too? Wasn’t it just as strange then?). Watched my better half cook enough food for a smallContinue reading “Hello Darkness My Old Friend”
Objects in Mirror are Closer Than They Appear
The other day I had a hankering for a bagel with cream cheese. The thing is, I am trying very hard to go back to a dairy-free life. I managed it for about 8 months when I was told I had a food sensitivity to all dairy products that was causing inflammation and exacerbating myContinue reading “Objects in Mirror are Closer Than They Appear”
In the Chair 